Raising My Three And Me

The unfiltered thoughts and happenings of a married SAHM

12 Thoughts On Our Last Baby’s First Birthday

Yesterday was the first birthday of our last child. It’s a beautiful milestone, to watch your newborn grow into their own person, day by day, but it can also be hard. I closed this chapter behind me forever and it still hurts at times. I love the baby stage so much that I’m clinging onto these days because I know it won’t last forever. I’m excited to get to meet future versions of her and her big sisters.

My parenting style is gentle, respectful, and attached to my child. I want a positive relationship with my daughters and encourage them to be themselves in a world with a lot of hatred, pain, and evil around every corner. I don’t want to be a helicopter mother, but I do care about the safety and well-being of my child.

So, needless to say, this milestone of reaching Mia’s first birthday, I had a lot of thoughts that came to my mind. I thought that this blog post would be great for people who are going through closing chapters of raising their kids behind them, or for me to look back on someday.

Christina via Raising My Three and Me (YOU MAY NOT USE THIS IMAGE)

Thought 1: I absolutely LOVE balloon garlands!

While looking for party inspiration, I became mesmerized with balloon garlands and arches. This infatuation lead me to watch tutorials on YouTube and decided that I’m going to try it this time around. I’ll have you know, I loved everything about getting this set up! It does take a bit of time, especially if you’re a perfectionist, but I’m not.

Here are six tips on balloon garlands.

  1. Purcahse a kit that has everything you need. I used this kit from Amazon (not an affilate link) and it was helpful to just open and get started.
  2. If you’re not buying a kid, all you need is balloons (in whatever colors) and balloon tape.
  3. Give yourself plenty of time… I’m pretty sure my garland took about an hour.
  4. Get a balloon pump! It will save your precious lungs.
  5. Blow up balloons in different sizes.
  6. Watch tutorials on YouTube if you’re a visual learner.

Thought 2: Babies grow so fast!

One thing that you hear a lot of the time is to “enjoy it while it lasts” and it’s so true. I swear that being pregnant and labor lasts forever, but then you blink and that bundle of a newborn baby is toddling around and babbling up a storm.

Last year, I had this beautiful little baby, and now she can walk, say words, clap, point, dance to Baby Shark – and it’s just crazy watching her every single day, shaping into her own person. I’m sitting here like, “Wow! I created that and she’s turning into this!” and I love it.

Babies grow so quickly and not all stages are amazing (period of purple crying, teething, fighting sleep, so many pediatrician appointments are the worst) but I love the toothless grins, the snuggles throughout the night, the kisses, that first time hearing Mama – it’s just a little sad that she’s getting so big, so quick. That can be pretty sad!

Christina via Raising My Three and Me (YOU MAY NOT USE THIS IMAGE)

Thought 3: I really love putting birthday parties together.

Fun fact: I’m certified in event and wedding planning! Putting together this birthday celebration for Mia reminded me of how much I love the process of not only planning a birthday party but actually seeing it all come together. I’ll be even more honest, I had to change things as I went, that can be pretty stressful! Still, I absolutely loved getting it all put together and often found myself loving the process.

Maybe I will offer birthday party and wedding planning services in the future!

Thought 4: Our breastfeeding journey is going to be coming to an end.

I have breastfed all three of my girls. I weaned my oldest daughter when she was 2.5 and my middle when she was 20 months after trying tandem nursing when the baby was born. Breastfeeding is so challenging, but the thought of weaning is making me so nervous.

The process of weaning is a whole new challenge and I’m beyond nervous about it. I wanted to get a piece of jewelry to make with breastmilk to remember these times, with honor, but I’m worried since my body will never respond to pumping and I have no idea how that’s going to work. I read that you only need an ounce, but who knows how any of that will go – plus, I don’t even have a breast pump!

Yikes, I don’t know what to do. All I know is that someday (soon) we will start preparing to wean. I hope that she stops trying to bite me so that I’m not left with a poor feeling of nursing. It’s just an overwhelming thought.

Christina via Raising My Three and Me (YOU MAY NOT USE THIS IMAGE)

Thought 5: I really enjoy photography and need to take more pictures of my kids.

The more pictures that I take, the better I get at learning the ropes of photography. I love being able to look at a picture and feel proud of what it looks like. I’m learning how to prevent noise in pictures, lighting, and how much editing saves your photos! I did two different photoshoot sessions with Mia on her birthday: the first was her looking around at her decorations, the other was during her “cake smash” where she munched on some donuts.

It really made me realize that I need to take more pictures of all three of my kids because they grow so fast. Plus, they are super cute!

Thought 6: It’s the little things that make them smile.

I was so surprised at how happy she was with so little. Typically parents go into planning parties that they have to go “all-out” and be showy with their kids, but my kids were all so excited just by the decorations! Mia was especially excited about this tiny purple balloon that fell out of the garland when my husband was putting it together.

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Christina via Raising My Three and Me (YOU MAY NOT USE THIS IMAGE)

I just put so much pressure on myself with everything and parenting is no exception. Still, my baby was beyond happy on her special day!

Thought 7: Nothing went completely according to plan.

I was absolutely stressing out the morning of her party because I’m such a planner and I didn’t plan anything. I don’t know if it was denial, or what, but I didn’t plan anything until after I wrote my last blog post about planning a last-minute party, and I still had no clue what to do that morning. Not to mention, the birthday girl woke up at 11 PM and didn’t go to bed until 3 AM (shout out to my husband for getting up with her) and we had last-minute shopping to do! Needless to say, I was beyond stressed that morning.

Even though I didn’t plan much, I did have a slight idea – and NOTHING turned out what I was originally thinking. For example, there were streamers under the “donut grow up” banner but it didn’t work out, so I improvised and did the leftover tissue paper from her presents. I wanted to purchase a cake stand for her donuts, but that didn’t happen since my husband needed his sleep. I didn’t even know until my husband called what we were doing for our donuts!

But guess what!

Even though things didn’t go how I “expected” – I was really happy how it all came together!

Thought 8: I love that she’s the baby.

I could write a whole blog post of what last baby grief taught me *puts it on a list of future ideas* because I was not anticipating the feelings associated with that. I struggled with this so much but something felt different on her birthday.

Christina via Raising My Three and Me (YOU MAY NOT USE THIS IMAGE)

She was meant to be our last. However, I couldn’t stop feeling sad all over again. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her and tried to engrave these memories into my brain. I’m terrified of forgetting these moments with my kids, especially as this sweet little baby. I’m so broken that my baby is getting so big, but I do feel deep in my heart that she was meant to be our baby.

She was worth the pain, the stress, the worry – I’m beyond thankful for her for coming into our lives when I didn’t expect to be having a third baby. She’s a wonderful addition and is definitely the little baby.

Thought 9: She fits perfectly in my arms.

Even though she’s so heavy, and wiggles all over the place, I can’t help but hold her. I love watching her drift off to sleep in my arms until I lay her down. I love when she rests her head in my neck. I absolutely love how she fits perfectly in my arms.

Thought 10: She is a great eater.

Mia loves to eat! I have been so scared to feed her table foods because I have a severe fear of my kids having an allergic reaction, or choking. Which, by the way, she did end up choking that night on some eggs after her party. It’s all just a scary transition, but she’s such a good eater.

One of the first table foods I gave her was a bagel with cream cheese and she LOVED it. I figured that would be perfect for her with a breakfast menu. We did end up going for donuts since they are so much easier.

Christina via Raising My Three and Me (YOU MAY NOT USE THIS IMAGE)

Mia was happy with munching on her own plate of donuts (she didn’t eat all of these, I just let her take some off the plate and play with them for photos and took away the ones she didn’t touch.

These donuts are just glazed donuts from Dunkin Donuts with some dyed frosting from food coloring topped with rainbow sprinkles. It turned out pretty yummy and I don’t really like sweets.

Thought 11: I’m scared.

I’m scared of the unknown and that sums up parenting as a whole. I’m scared for all of my kids with how the world is. I’m scared that someday I will have to let them go out into the scary world. I’m scared of them not knowing how much I love them. I’m scared that I will never be better at parenting older children. I’m scared that I won’t be able to help them with girly things since I never learned how. But, these fears also come with excitement. I wonder what she will do in her life. I wonder what show she will fall in love with. I wonder what her favorite subject in homeschooling will be. I wonder what color she will want to paint her room. I wonder how her hair will grow. I wonder how her relationships with her sisters will be. I wonder if she will be more sporty, more creative, or both! I wonder who she will be.

Thought 12: I’m so in love.

I still feel just as much love for her as I did the first moment I held her. I’m so in love just the same way I felt with her two older sisters. I’m so in love with her chubby cheeks and the teeth she has just as much as that big toothless grin. I’m so in love with seeing her with us, just as I did when she first came into our lives.

I’m so in love with motherhood and so excited for her.

See Mia’s transformation below!


There were so many crazy thoughts that I had on my last baby’s first birthday yesterday. So many happy and scary thoughts. Being a mother is so hard and watching your babies grow is a little painful too. Obviously, we are thankful that they are growing, because I know so many parents would do anything to watch their child grow, but it’s so painful for me. It’s painful to say goodbye to this chapter. It’s scary to face change like this and it was nice to document the thoughts I had yesterday.

Thank you for reading and see you next time.


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2 responses to “12 Thoughts On Our Last Baby’s First Birthday”

  1. What a sweet post! I am right with you with the gentle parenting method. My family tells me that I am spoiling my little one but I refuse to listen. I grew up walking on eggshells with my parents and I want my daughter to not only feel loved but to never hesitate to come to me for anything. I want all her needs to be met! She turns 4 months today and I am already dreading the first birthday because I, too want her to be my baby forever. Time really does fly so you have to cherish every moment. Thank you for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for coming to my blog, reading, and leaving such a great comment!

      I deal with the comments and had a similar experience with walking on eggshells! I STILL walk on eggshells with A LOT of people. I don’t want my daughters to grow up the same way.

      4 months feels like so long ago! 😦 I hope that when the time comes that it’s her birthday, you can get through it, too! Feel free to reach out!!!

      I’m glad I’m not alone in this feeling and I hope it brings you comfort that you are not alone, either! You’re so welcome and thank you, again, for the support!


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